


If Questions Were Oranges

by VirginiasWolf



Series: Life Moves On [19]
Category: Death in Paradise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-11-02 02:44:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20595350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VirginiasWolf/pseuds/VirginiasWolf
Summary: Richard has to request something very important from Catherine and it may unfortunately require begging. This situation is further worsened by Humphrey Goodman accidentally spilling orange juice across his clean white shorts.Part of the Life Moves On Series and takes place about a week and a half after A Saint Marie Welcome Home with Richard and Camille still on their island vacation.





	If Questions Were Oranges

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I screwed up in real life in that I got confused about senior seminar and didn't do this week's writing meaning I'm expected to do twenty pages of original writing for next week to make up for this week (thank goodness for the professor accepting that). This is bad news for me and good news for you because to make up for how my muse will either churn out zero fanfic in that time or a whole bunch I'm posting both of my backlog fics today instead of spreading them out.

Richard Poole is absolutely miserable when he arrives at his mother-in-law's restaurant. He has two days left on the island before him and Camille fly to Saint Lucia to spend a few days with Fidel and Juliette and then catch a plane back to London and he is absolutely looking forward to both of those things, but he has a more pressing matter with his mother-in-law first, and his misery has only been heightened by how he barely has a chance to sit down before Humphrey Goodman accidentally pours most of a glass of orange juice onto his crotch. Unfortunately he doesn't even have a chance to yell at the man because the pouring of the orange juice is caused by Humphrey getting up to take a phone call outside the bar, and Humphrey doesn't even seem aware of what he has done, so instead Richard dwells more on his other woes and how they in truth aren't exactly woes at all.

  
It had all begun the previous evening when, as usual, him and Camille had eaten in the restaurant. His wife had eaten a dish that he could tell from a single taste was far spicier than his stomach would ever tolerate. However, he had also noticed a certain expression that might qualify as wistfulness appearing on her face and she'd commented to Catherine on how much she missed certain recipes as she was only ever able to get them on the island. The ingredients for many of Catherine's dishes weren't impossible to find in London, and at times Camille did cook some of the milder ones for dinner, but he also knew she took great pains to make sure they were tame enough for him to eat.

  
Sitting next to Camille as she'd tried to pretend she wasn't saddened by how long it would be before she could again experience her mother's recipes gave him an idea that dare he say qualified as selfless and romantic? If he could convince Catherine to share some of the recipes for foods that Camille missed he could probably at times surprise her with them, even if it meant he'd have to make an extra portion of milder food for himself. The thought of how touched she'd be almost made whatever heinous deal he'd have to make worth it.

  
Except now he's sitting in a bar in white, orange juice soaked shorts and he has to come up with the nerve to ask for the recipes before Camille arrives.

  
Luckily, Catherine approaches to hand him a towel.

  
"Can I talk to you in private please?"

  
Catherine immediately gives him a look that seems to indicate that she believes he must have done something horrible. "What have you done to my daughter, Richard?"

  
"I haven't bloody done anything to her! I just have a question that I'd prefer she not know I asked you!" He realizes too late that this doesn't help his situation any. Now Catherine is going to think he had some sort of holiday affair and he'll end up murdered on this island a second time, except this time it will be for real.

  
"I refuse to help you hide any of your indiscretions from Camille," Catherine continues to glare at him and although the expression is the same as the one Camille makes, he realizes that from her mother it feels even worse.

  
"Why do you assume that I must be trying to hide something negative from my wife?!" He only realizes that they still aren't even in private when Dwayne chimes in.

  
"You are being pretty suspicious."

  
"Great Dwayne, I definitely wanted your commentary on this. Catherine, can we please talk in private. If you're going to yell at me, I'd rather not have all eyes on me while I'm wearing these shorts." He'd intended to keep the pleading and begging until he really wasn't being watched by all the eyes of Saint Marie, but at least it actually works on his mother-in-law, and she leads him to a back room.

  
He suddenly feels like she's going to think he's silly and stupid for asking, and this makes him go completely silent as he slumps onto a kitchen stool.

  
"Richard, I know you would never do anything to hurt my daughter."

  
After a minute he manages to gather up some of his courage again, but he still has trouble making eye contact with Catherine. "I was wondering if you'd share some of your recipes with me. For Camille's comfort foods. I just don't want her to feel like she has to wait until we're on Saint Marie to eat her favorite dishes."

  
"Oh." Of course. Catherine must think he's being completely ridiculous, and now there's no way she's going to share the recipes with him. Or at least this is what he thinks until she adds "You don't have to be so nervous about asking. I think what you want to do is very sweet. I'm sure Camille will love it."

  
When Richard looks up again he can see that Catherine fully means what she's saying and he can't help but let one of his crooked smiles creep across his face. "Ah, well you know me. I'm not exactly good at being the sentimental one." After a brief pause he adds, "but I want to be better, for her."

  
Catherine nods, "Speaking of which, would you like to stay back here until she arrives with your change of clothes?"

  
Richard looks down again at his pants and notices that the orange juice stain is definitely in the very unfortunate area where it appears that he has had an accident, and a particularly sickly looking one at that. "I think I would honestly prefer that if you don't mind." After a second to think he adds "Would it be rather underhanded of me to ask that you also consider buying a training cup for Inspector Goodman?"

  
At least the last comment makes Catherine laugh.

**Author's Note:**

> Hoping I got the terminology right, because I had to quickly look up the British equivalent on Google, but in his last line Richard is basically asking if Catherine will consider buying Humphrey a sippy cup because he seems utterly unable to successfully keep from not spilling things. Knowing Catherine she probably follows this advice


End file.
